Saturday, September 3, 2011

I'm Going to be a Mother-In-Law!


Nick and Greg, this one's for you...

Thinking about, dreaming about, praying about the type of spouses our children will one day marry is, I think, a common mom thing. Even I do that...

Later, I will share more about the type of husbands I pray that YOU will be. Right now, I am going to share my mother's heart about my desires concerning the wives you will one day marry.

First, I hope my future daughters will love your mother and love to be with our family! (Not really the top priority, but I thought I might forget to mention it if I wait until the end.)

We have talked about this often. My prayer is that you both choose women that love Jesus Christ passionately! Believing in, trusting in, and relying on Jesus Christ makes a huge difference in how you view life, how you handle difficulties, your perspective on "happiness", and, most importantly, where you spend eternity. Choose wisely!

You already know this, but, in my opinion, the second most important thing is being teachable, a willingness to learn, the opposite of "this is how I am, so you better just accept it" attitude. God is always at work in us, growing us, changing us. I pray that you have wives that are sensitive to the Spirit's working in their lives, yielded to Him, growing deeper into the love of Jesus!

My "internship" in marriage was not good. I was modeled some bad habits. I carried those bad habits into my marriage. Your dad was patient. God was good. The Holy Spirit used that bad to work together for His good. Thank you, Jesus! So, if you are considering a woman whose "internship" was rocky, God can redeem that, if, going back to my last point, the woman is surrendered to Jesus. Yes, it really boils down to that!

Common interests are a great, added bonus! Your dad and I love so many of the same things. We love taking major long walks, stopping along the way for dinner or rehydration. I have learned to really enjoy skiing. And, I even tried fly fishing. We love to swim, hike and bike together! Traveling together is a blast! A side note: I have friends that married mostly because of their common interest who have struggled greatly in their marriages. And, I have friends that have very different interests than their spouses, yet have fabulous marriages. So this, like I said, can be an added bonus, but not a deal breaker.

A few issues I hope you do not have to deal with...A nagging spouse. (Sometimes we women think we are so smart and together, that we don't call it nagging.) Also, a wife who treats you more like a child than a spouse. (We get use to being a mom, and that can spill over into how we treat our husbands.) Also, a wife who treats her children better and of greater importance than you. (An accepted trend is to think that our children are our number 1 priority, over and above our husbands.) A materialistic person. A disrespectful wife. A controlling wife. A wife who feels it is her duty to be the Holy Spirit in your life, instead of trusting Him to do the work. Wow...that's a long list...

Basically, what I hope for you is a wife who habitually walks in the Spirit! Content, joy-filled, crazy about you! Yeah, that's it in a nutshell!

I have observed that there are two things going on when people originally connect. There is this objective list of what each is looking for in the person they hope to share their life with. That's good. But, also, something that cannot be ignored is that "spark", that feeling, that connection. For some people this comes quickly. My first day at Westmont, I saw your dad, and I got that "spark". Actually, it's much stronger now, 33 years later! Sometimes I get this "butterflies in my stomach" feeling, a funny feeling for which I do not want a cure! :-) For others, this feeling can develop slowly. Very slowly. Five years after we met, five years of a pretty close friendship, your dad got the "spark" for me! Yay!

Many other things come into consideration when choosing that special person. The most important advice I can give you is to be chatting with God about this. He will lead you. He will guide you. He will speak to you. He, after all, knows best! My prayers have shifted from giving Him my list (kind of like the one I just gave you) in regards to your future wives (my future daughters...yay!), to thanking Him for who He has picked out for you!


ps~Ali, I KNOW that you will be this type of wife for some lucky guy some day!!! And, you will make amazing, healthy meals and keep him laughing at your cute "Ali-isms" and challenge him spiritually and intellectually (in a good way) and have a warm, cozy, neat and tidy home and surf with him and hike with him and travel with him! Lucky guy!


  1. This is beautiful! I am praying the same for your those boys! Whoever they choose will be truly fortunate to have you for a mother in law!

  2. I want to be that kind of wife :-). I hope I will be!